You cannot devote your life to an abstraction. Indeed, life shatters all abstractions in one way or another, including words such as faith or belief. If God is not in the very fabric of existence for you, if you do not find Him (or miss Him!) in the details of your daily life, then religion is just one more way to commit spiritual suicide.
I’m tired and sick at the moment, and consequently struggling to find any inspiration to write new poetry, but I have been reading a number of books on poetry, including Christian Wiman’s Ambition and Survival: Becoming a Poet. I copied this striking passage into my journal: